The
History and Customs of Regati
The
Rediscovery of the NoManites
Praedin's Gifts
Now then, Regati
is the costumed holiday from the Isle of NoMan. It originated in a native tribal myth
there that after people have tired themselves out from the holidays, the evil spirits
capitalize on people's weariness and carry them away into the spirit world. To prevent
this dreaded occurrence, NoManites do two things. First, they resolve to allow their
revels to continue into the rest of their lives, rather than dropping them with the new
year and returning to the grind--a possibly deadly prospect with so many evil spirits
lurking about. Second, they confuse the spirits by altering their appearance, replacing it
with something entirely new that the spirits don't know to look for. As a result, there
are two stipulations for a Regati costume:
1. The costume you wear must never have been worn before 2. It cannot be purchased
Of course, it can't be purchased because then the spirits would have had a chance to see it in the store. Evil spirits love hanging around costume stores.
When Regati itself comes around, everyone sits by the fire drinking their glasses of heated ginger ale and tells stories of their recent revels and how they are going to be carried into their continued lives. As a group, the revelers create an image of Legless Poot (the most mischievous of the evil spirits) and his Fire Donkey, photograph the image as a reminder for future Regatis, and then at the appointed hour toss the image onto the fire to reject the cloying, staid, workaday ministrations of the spirits. Children are told that when the image burns, you can hear the fire logs cheering and in the deepest forests the trunks of great trees cheer along with them. Then everyone sings the Happy Cheerful Forever Regati Song while eating their Jello (which, of course, has bits of pear suspended in it to symbolize the continuing nature of Regati festivities1) and goes home for a wonderfully peaceful evening undisturbed by evil spirits.
1 Nobody really knows why pears symbolize the ongoing nature of Regati festivities, but it has been suggested that it's because they repeat on you.
"With here and now, it is everything." - NoManite saying
The legend of Regati and the NoManites seems to go as far back as the dawn of humanity. We have seen references of them everywhere, from The Bible, to the quatrains of Nostradamus, to the numerous references made by William Shakespeare. None of these have quite the impact as the poem written by John Donne.
For centuries, the Nomanites were considered a mythical people and their was spoken of in the same breath as Atlantis. This was the state of NoMan affairs until January 1966 when Dr. Ivan Ünderöver(Underover), assisted by two graduate students and twelve ship's crew accidentally stumbled over the uncharted Isle of NoMan. They found the island still inhabited by a thriving NoManite society. This was the thrill of a lifetime.
Dr. Ünderöver(Underover) and his students abandoned their original expedition and stayed on the island to study this fantastic lost culture. They managed to befriend the NoManites and learn about their language, culture, art and society.
They found the NoManites to be a peaceful, clever and creative people. They lived simple lives by choice. "They live life so that everything they need is around them, and nothing more." the Doctor said. "They have a knack to be able to take whatever they have around them and turn it in to something complete satisfying. Why live in a difficult world when all you need is to be clever with what you've got?" That seemed to be their underlying philosophy.
After four months, their supplies ran low and they decided to return. Only Wanda Godanzig, one of the graduate students, stayed behind to live with the NoManites until the next expedition would arrive, which Dr. Ünderöver(Underover) promised would be within six months.
The remaining staff left the Island, but did not get far. A terrible storm quickly devoured the boat and took Dr. Ünderöver(Underover), the ship's crew, and all the scientists' notes and materials with it. Only the graduate student, Trevor Washface survived by living on a small raft for four weeks. All the information they learned was gone, save for that stored in the mind of one graduate student.
The boat, its remains and Dr. Ünderöver(Underover) have not been found, and the search for them has long been abandoned. The location of the Isle of NoMan once again remains a mystery, and it is not known if Wanda Godanzig is still alive.
It is notable that this January marks the 30th anniversary of the rediscovery of the Isle of NoMan.
Addenda: Some of Trevor's critics have been quite harsh.
"Interesting and not very credible story Trevor Washface told to explain why he was the only survivor of a ship of fifteen...a mythical, uncharted island the location of which he was unable to determine, accidental death of everyone else on the expedition (except for the one person who was probably Trevor's closest friend, and whose survival is impossible to verify)--no doubt his story was taken with extreme skepticism and only a cursory search was ever made of the region. I also suspect that, living uncredited and disreputable since his return, Trevor probably never saw a penny from the Disney production of 'Return to Atlantis,' based loosely on the Ünderöver(Underover) expedition."
There are many legends about Praedin and her costumes, but the story of Praedin's Gifts is a favorite.
It was Rigatoni (two days before Regati) and everyone in the village of Ham stopped working in order to prepare for Regati. Praedin was still a young girl at the time, but her love for costumes had already taken shape. She put so much work into her costumes that she became quite skilled at creating the most wonderful disguises, even at such a young age.
This year, Praedin wanted to dress up as a poisonous gundafish, mostly because it had a most beautiful and particular red stripe on its belly. Certainly, she could have made a wonderful gundafish costume and colored the stripe with any berries or other dyes she found in Ham, but Praedin wanted the absolute perfect color for her costume, and she knew the only berries she could use to make that exact color grew in the forests in the center of NoMan.
Praedin's mother didn't like the idea of her going off into the forest. But knowing how much Praedin loved gathering materials for costumes her mother agreed, telling Praedin she would accompany her into the forest to gather the berries that afternoon. But Praedin wanted so badly to get the berries that she didn't want to wait even a few hours, and skipped off into the forest on her own. "Mother said it was OK, and I'm certain she won't mind when she sees the beautiful costume," Praedin thought as she wandered somewhat guiltily along the forest paths.
As she continued through the forest, Praedin began to worry that perhaps she didn't know exactly where those particular berries were after all. Already she had left the paths behind her, but the berries didn't seem to grow just exactly where she was sure she'd seen them last time...As she wandered further in the forest, she found that now she didn't even know just where she was. She was lost and cold and hungry, having not taken the snacks or wool coat that her mother had been putting together for their foray.
Finally, Praedin came upon a single Belshi bush, which she had never seen before. "Ick!" Praedin said out loud, looking at the ugly fruit. "No one would want a gundafish with that color on it! But at least I will have something to eat." And taking a bite of one of the dangerous Belshi fruits, she fell fast asleep right there on the spot and didn't wake up for two whole days.
By the time Praedin woke up and found her way out of the forest, Regati had begun, and the evil spirits were searching for any NoManites they could recognize. One of the Atshoo (a family of spirits that love to troll the forests of NoMan) spotted Praedin running for her village. Fortunately, there was a family walking to the Regati festivities who saw Praedin as well, and they also saw the Atshoo!
Running up to Praedin and surrounding her before the Atshoo could get there, each member of the family quickly tore off a piece of their own costumes, and practically threw it on her! A glove, a hat, an extra shirt, a piece of string, even an old kettle. In half a second no one could say just what she looked like, but she certainly didn't look like Praedin!
Of course, the Atshoo was confused by the change! It couldn't figure out where Praedin went! After a moment, a squirrel ran by straight into the forest and the Atshoo, thinking it was Praedin, went in after it. Realizing its mistake, it started chasing a fox instead, thinking that must be Praedin. It is rumored that the spirit was very miserable for several days, because at one point it had even thought that Praedin had disguised herself as a bramble bush, and spent many frustrating hours picking the brambles off of itself.
Praedin, meanwhile, was overjoyed with the costume that had been fashioned so wonderfully for her. She apologized to her mother for not waiting, who was only glad that Praedin had made it back from the forest. Everyone looked splendidly unrecognizable in their Regati costumes, and not an evil spirit was seen. In appreciation for the kind family's hospitality, from that year forward Praedin always made sure that anyone who did not have the material to disguise themselves before the festival were provided with masks, clothing, makeup, and other odds and ends. Many Regati festivals keep the tradition Praedin created by providing Praedin's Gifts; material for disguising guests who are unprepared when the festival begins.
* A gundafish is a deadly creature that lived in NoMan's the surrounding waters, and also happens to make wonderful pelts for Regati costumes. Do not worry about the gundafish in this story, but it plays a much more important part of Praedin's life; and perhaps one day I will tell it to you.
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